The Spoils of War
by Haley'sCircus
Summary: Levi must deal with the consequences when Sasha steals raw meat from the officer's supply. Slight ErwinxLevi, Contains omorashi/messing


"How come only the cadets have to work outside today?" Connie complained as he held a bucket of feed up to Chalet's mouth. "I'm going to die of heat stroke before a Titan can even get to me."

"Stop whining." Jean replied. "I bet all scouts had to do this. We're earning our way."

"Well it's a little ridiculous that we've got to be out here in this insane heat while the squad leaders lounge around inside." Connie huffed.

"Actually, I think Captain Levi has them doing some more cleaning." Eren spoke up. "He's been pretty adamant about keeping this place spotless."

"Pfft, clean freak." Jean scoffed. "He's probably too afraid of getting dirt on his uniform to work outside."

"Don't talk about the captain like that." Eren scowled. "He's earned his title by doing hard work and getting his hands dirty. Do you see him complaining?"

"Aw, how sweet of you to defend your heichou." Reiner grinned teasingly.

Eren turned red and started to retort, but Sasha's yelp in the distance caused everybody's heads to turn.

"Hey guys!" The brunette hissed excitedly as she came running towards them. "You'll never guess what just happened!"

"What?" Armin asked, coming over to join the conversation.

"The supply carts were coming in and I…" Sasha beamed and pulled several beef cutlets from her jacket, making the cadets recoil in alarm.

"Are you fucking insane?" Jean snapped. "How have you not been arrested yet?"

"Ohhh! They looked so good I couldn't help it!" She whined before grinning at them gleefully. "Who wants to help me cook'em up?"

"You _are _crazy!" Jean confirmed. "Somebody's going to catch you!"

"Well, most likely not." Armin replied. "If we do it right behind the stables nobody should be able to see what we're doing."

"Are you actually considering that?" Eren asked him.

"Come on guys! When was the last time you had real, bloody, meat?" Sasha asked almost maniacally.

Connie sighed and dropped his shovel. "Yeah, okay. But if we get caught I'm blaming you."

Sasha released a thrilled squeal and together the two hurried behind the stables.

"Wait! I want some too!" Armin called, following them.

"Me too!" Reiner agreed and soon everybody was behind the stables, staring intently at the sizzling steaks as their mouths watered.

"How long do we cook them?" Eren wondered as he watched.

"Well, I think the best way is when they're still bleeding and the inside is sort of red but the outside turns brown." Sasha said through the drool that coated her lips.

"Sure beats bread." Jean laughed eagerly, though their small celebration was cut short when they heard light footsteps approaching. Panicking, Sasha quickly slammed the lid down on the pan of half-cooked meat and yanked it off of the small fire they had started, shoving it into a supply trunk while Eren, Armin, and Connie desperately fought to stomp out the fire. As they raced back to continue their assigned duties, they were greeted by Levi's entire squad who were in differing states of cheeriness.

"Levi has ordered that you head to the kitchens for lunch. We will finish your chores here." Petra smiled.

The cadets looked at each other, their thoughts all going straight to the closed pan of steaks that still sat sizzling inside the storage trunk. If they could sneak it past Squad Levi, they could resume cooking it in the kitchen but how?

"Thank you." Armin spoke up, walking over to the group and turning their gaze away from the stables. "Though it's pretty hot out here so maybe I could provide you with some simple ways to avoid heat exhaustion?" He offered, subtly motioning for the others to grab the pan and run. The cadets grinned, sneaking over to the trunk and nabbing the pan of meat while Armin blabbed on and on about the dangers of dehydration.

"Oh, ummm, thank you, Armin." Petra frowned slightly.

"Dumb rookie. Do you think we're idiots?" Oluo grouched.

"Ah, no sir, my apologies." Armin replied as he watched the others make a break for the castle. "I-I'll be going now." He finished, excusing himself to head after his comrades.

* * *

"Armin you're a life saver!" Jean grinned, giving the small blond a pat on the back as he entered the kitchen. Sasha placed the pan on the stove and removed the lid, watching eagerly as the steak began to sizzle once more.

"There!" She exclaimed, dropping the pan onto the large kitchen counter that dominated most of the room. "All finished!"

"I'll get some plates!" Jean grinned.

"I'll get the silverware." Connie added.

The cadets began to bustle around the kitchen but at the sound of a creaking door, they froze in their spot.

"What is going on in here?" Levi asked suspiciously, his eyes darting from their shocked expressions to the cutlery in their hands. Then he noticed the still-sizzling slabs of meat and raised an eyebrow. "Anyone care to explain?"

"Lunch! Uh…Captain." Armin spoke up. "Your squad members instructed us to head to the kitchen for lunch."

"And the steak? Surely that is not what was prepared…" Levi said. "Unless somebody sto-

"There was a new shipment of supplies today and steaks were cooked for all of the officers." Armin quickly cut off. "They were here when we arrived."

Armin glanced at Sasha, who looked ready to cry, then back at Levi. "We have been told to leave them for the Squad Captains and Commander."

"Hmph." Was all Levi replied and nodded. "Very well, gather your usual lunch and proceed to the dining room."

Heartbroken, the cadets gathered their usual meals of bread, tea, and vegetables before heading towards the dining room with Mikasa struggling to muffle Sasha's incessant bawls. Levi stood alone in the kitchen and shrugged, grabbing one of the steaks and dropping it onto his plate.

* * *

"Oi! Anybody still hungry?" Hange asked, pulling some bread out of her pockets. "I made it using specially treated yeast for longer lasting results."

"No thanks." Levi replied distastefully. "I'm still stuffed from lunch."

They were a small group. Levi and Hanji were in the middle, surrounded closely by his own team, then around them were the cadets. They were nearly finishing some formation drills, but soon night would come and the flares would be difficult to see in the sky.

Levi personally didn't mind. He felt slightly nauseated as the steak he'd eaten sat in his stomach like a rock. The constant movement of his horse didn't help. He was nearly tempted to end the simulation early, but Erwin certainly wouldn't appreciate that, so he just told himself to stop being a baby and keep moving.

"I'll have some!" Erd called over to Hanji. "Lunch was pathetic today!"

"I know, right?" Hange whined. "How do they expect us to maintain physical perfection if they keep us on a diet of bread and tea?"

"Well the steak from today's lunch should have helped." Levi replied, earning a clueless look from Hanji.

"Steak? What steak?"

Levi looked at her baffled. "What do you mean? The steak that was delivered for the officers! It was in a pan on the kitchen counter!"

Hange stared up in thought and nodded. "Ohhh, you mean that pile of half-cooked beef cutlets?" She recalled. "They were still raw and going bad so I took them to use on Titan experiments."

Levi froze in his spot and watched her casually shrug her shoulders. "Raw…?"

"Uh huh!"

Without another word, the captain turned forward in his seat feeling much more ill than he had before. That meat had been raw! It could make him sick! How filthy and disgusting and… A shudder went through him. How could he have been stupid enough to eat unknown meat? For all he knew it could have been rolling around in the dirt!

Levi's stomach lurched and he bit back a small groan. The symptoms began to hit him like a rock. First to appear was the overwhelming nausea that forced him to hold his breath every few seconds. Then came the cold sweat that caused sweat to form on his forehead and cheeks. He sighed and closed his eyes, the constant jarring of his galloping horse moving his stomach to and fro. Then the worst part came: the part that made him clench his muscles and press down into his saddle. The part that made him speed up.

"Hange." Levi forced out between deepening breaths. "Shoot the retreat flare."

"Huh? But we aren't even done with the drill." The woman replied in confusion.

"Just do it!" Levi ordered. He could feel the rest of his body soaking in sweat underneath his uniform and he wouldn't be surprised if his shirt was already completely drenched. Another horrible urge to vacate his bowels passed through him and he shut his eyes, squeezing down on the reins as he willed himself not to lose control. He would never let anyone see him like that.

At this point, Levi completely abandoned standard formation in favor of turning his horse around right then and there and galloping at high speed back towards the castle.

"Heichou!" Petra called after him in surprise. "What are you doing?"

Levi ignored her, the wind blowing his hair back and drying the sweat on his face as he raced for the castle. Another wave of nausea, then a few cramps struck him in his gut and he keeled over further on the saddle, clutching his stomach with one hand while the other held the reins. He quickly caught up with the cadets assigned to the rear, who watch in surprise as he went rocketing past them.

"Was that Levi?" Jean asked. "Are we in danger or something?"

"I don't know, but we should try to catch up to him!" Eren replied as he turned his own steed around to pursue the captain. The other cadets followed his actions and soon they were all galloping at top speed.

"I'm so sorry." Levi murmured to his horse. "Please forgive me." The need was unbearable and as the castle approached, he knew that he couldn't wait any longer. He hung in until he was about fifty yards from the castle's entrance before leaping off of the stallion and sprinting for the door. Behind him he could hear the stomping hooves of the cadet's horses, but he'd be damned if they witness such a disgraceful event. He made it a few more steps before an overpowering urge washed through his abdomen and he was forced to kneel down. He grabbed his stomach, shutting his eyes and putting all focus into keeping it in.

"Levi!" Hange called, causing Eren to turn his head.

"Hange? What's wrong with Levi Heichou?" The cadet asked worriedly. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know. He turned back without warning but I think he may need help." The woman replied.

Eren looked up in alarm. "You don't think the captain is hurt do you? We should help him!" Not waiting for a response, the boy dropped down from his horse and sprinted over to Levi, who looked ready to puke into the grass. "Heichou! Are you alright?" He asked. Moments later Hange was by his side and together they watched Levi struggle to remain calm and collected.

"Yes, just get away." Levi grunted, taking quick shallow breaths. Sweat glistened above his brow and dripped down his face as a small shudder overtook his lithe form, but finally he managed to get just enough control of his bowels to continue his running. With the help of his 3D maneuvering device, he flew towards the castle walls, leaving the two scouts stunned.

"We have to follow him!" Eren insisted, grabbing her sleeve and chasing after the captain.

Levi silently chanted pleas in his head: a plea to get to the toilet, a plea to not shit himself and a plea to keep anyone from finding out about this whole ordeal. He approached the door and retracted the wires, stumbling slightly in his landing. Another urge hit him and this one, he realized with dread, would not be fought back. It was now or never.

Levis abandoned his equipment and sprinted at top speed through the castle, but it wasn't enough. He had just reached the top of the stairs and was about to race down the hall when he collided with something heavy.

"Levi? You're back so early?" Erwin asked. "The formation drill wasn't supposed to end until six." The commander looked up to see his captain shivering and then he noticed the sickly pale hue of his face. "Are you okay?"

"Captain!" Eren called as he and Hange hurried up the steps. Now he was stuck. With Eren and Hange to the right and Erwin to the left Levi's body surrendered the fight and he dropped to his knees, hanging his head in shame.

"Wha…c-captain?" Eren asked softly. He began to step forward, but Hange grabbed the back of his jacket and held him back, holding a finger to her lips.

The mess couldn't leave him soon enough. At first it was fairly solid, the shit that is, and pressed against his skin, making his cringe at the disgusting feeling. More and more forced itself out of him and there was nothing he could do but sit there on his knees in silence and pray for it to be over soon. If only. Instead, the mess grew larger, squeezing itself out of his underwear and pushing towards his crotch until his entire backside was coated in the substance.

Then came the diarrhea which spurted out in humiliatingly loud bursts of shit and water and made Eren's expression change into that of mortified horror as the captain decomposed in from of him. "Ca…c…"

"Fuck." Levi hiccupped, clenching his teeth as ashamed tears forced their way into his eyes. The mess began to shift into new places: down his pants to his thighs mostly. The liquid formed a pool inside the mess or leaked through his pants onto the floor between his legs to begin a puddle.

Then Levi began to shiver again. He shook as he felt essential nutrients leaving his body, flushing out his whole system to leave him weak and shaky. His face burned and more tears joined the sweat. Finally, a long stream of hot piss uncontrollably released from his bladder, soaking the front of his pristine white trousers and pooling around him. Then everything stopped and everybody froze.

It was Erwin who stepped forward and crouched down in front of Levi, careful to avoid the mess. He reached out to help Levi to his feet, but the small captain batted his hands away. "Don't touch me." He barked roughly and both Hanji and Eren held back gasps, surprised at the outright disrespect in Levi's voice.

"Levi, I believe you have food poisoning." Hange stated. "It would be wise to clean yourself up and get some rest while the illness passes through you."

Obviously she was ignored by the captain, who was still fighting Erwin's advances to aid him. Unfortunately, his small, shaking body was no use against the commander's more powerful form. Seizing the captain's thin arms and shuddering shoulders, Erwin began to stand, pulling Levi up with him.

This time Eren could not suppress his surprised gasp when he caught sight of the captain's pants in their demolished state. The piss had soaked his perfect white pants, causing a large brown stain to seep through the back while the front had turned a dingy yellow all the way to his knees, which were knocking against each other violently.

And then Levi made a noise that sounded like a mix between a choke and a cough. A string of curses escaped his lips and his teeth bit down on his bottom lip as tears escaped. Eren couldn't see the man's eyes, but he had a clear view of the tears that were racing down his cheeks and dripping to the floor. He gasped, his body jerking. Then he let out one broken, nearly inaudible sob.

"Hange." Erwin said, pulling the other two witnesses out of their stupor. "Go fetch some rags from the supply closet and make some ginger tea."

"Yes, sir!" Hange said, casting one last sympathetic glance at Levi before hurrying down the stairs.

Erwin then turned to Eren. "You go heat up some water for a bath. Fill the tub with only five inches of water. Then go heat up more water."

Eren's eyes widened and he nodded quickly. "Yes, Commander!" He replied before obediently hurrying to the bathroom for the tubs.

Once alone, Erwin turned back to Levi. "Can you walk?" He asked. Levi gave him a small nod so steadying him by his shoulders, the larger man led him down the hall and to the bathroom.

"M-mess." Levi hiccupped, his eyes darting back to the puddle.

"I'll see that it's cleaned." Erwin replied, guiding him into a bathroom. With little effort, he lifted Levi and set him gently into the porcelain bathtub where the man weakly rested on his knees once more.

"Such a mess." Levi repeated, sounding more like a whimper this time. His fists clenched and his breathing quickened at the feeling of shit squishing against his skin. His eyes widened and more tears escaped as he became more and more overwhelmed.

"Relax, Levi." Erwin told him. He reached over and began to pet Levi's hair with one large hand. "We'll get rid of the mess. You'll be clean."

As promised, Hange and Eren returned with armfuls of rags and buckets full of lightly steaming water. With a short nod, Erwin excused them to continue their instructions and turned back to Levi, who was shivering now.

Erwin helped him up once more and removed his boots, his jacket, his harnesses, and everything else until he stood bare of all clothing except for his soiled white trousers. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the dirty job, Erwin reached over for the waist band but a hand stopped him.

"What are you doing?" Levi said roughly despite the shakiness in his voice.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning you." Erwin replied.

"I can take care of myself." Levi grunted, but was completely ignored as his commander began to yank down his trousers and underpants. The mess that waited for him was viler than anything Erwin cared to face, but for Levi's sake he kept his expression neutral.

"It's not that bad." Erwin told him as he fought back the urge to gag.

"Shut up you fucking liar." Levi growled miserably, but Erwin ignored him and instead plugged the drain of the bathtub so that he could begin removing the waste from Levi's privates. It took a lot of time and several more buckets of water but once all of the shit had been washed from his backside and legs, Erwin drained the tub and grabbed a rag.

"How are you feeling?" Erwin asked as he lathered Levi's entire body up with soap.

"Great. Fucking fantastic." Levi grumbled. He was not feeling too thrilled about being cleaned like a child, but Erwin insisted that he was too shaky to do the job himself. "Just finish up already."

"If I hurry, I might miss a spot." Erwin replied calmly. "And I know how you feel about cleanliness."

Levi huffed, but he knew Erwin was right. Just standing still while he was wiped down had brought on a wave of fatigue that made his eyes pulse with dizziness. It was best to just let Erwin take care of him.

* * *

"Oh God, oh God!" Connie cried, panicking as he waited outside with the others. "We killed Levi Heichou!"

"Get a grip on yourself!" Jean said, grabbing his shoulders, but he took looked rather anxious.

"Such a waste!" Sasha was crying and Mikasa was trying to console her while Armin nervously glanced between the two groups.

"Will you guys shut up?" Eren snapped. "He's not dead. Hanji said he's got a food poisoning from the bad meat he ate."

"Food poisoning?" Jean questioned.

"So we didn't kill him?" Connie added.

"No, but he's very ill and almost too weak to move. Commander Erwin is overlooking his treatment as we speak." Eren assured them.

"So the captain will be okay!" Connie cried with relief. "Thank God we didn't kill him!"

"What happened inside?" Jean asked curiously. "You were in there a long time."

Eren blushed and hesitated. Should he embarrass Levi by telling them the truth? No, that would be mean and only make the captain dislike him even further. He did not want to humiliate the strong captain for something as simple as being sick.

"Nothing much." Eren lied. "Levi was taken to his chambers to rest."

"It's good that the captain is alright." Armin sighed. "He's strong and will hopefully regain his health quickly."

"Just don't feed him anymore meat." Mikasa stated. "I don't think you cooked it all the way."

"Well it's not my fault! We were interrupted!" Sasha pouted. "I can't believe we didn't even get to try any!"

"Well it's a good thing we didn't or we'd be bedridden like Levi!" Jean exclaimed.

"Jean is right. We could all be puking our guts out right now, but we aren't thanks to the captain." Eren said.

* * *

"Thanks, now leave." Levi muttered as Erwin gently laid him in bed. He shivered, his tiny body trembling from the harshness of the ailment and Erwin was immediately there to pull the covers up to his chin.

"Hange made you some ginger tea to help." The commander said. "Drink as much as you can and get some rest. I'm right next door."

Levi hmphed and turned his head away. Assured by this action, Erwin finally left him alone.


End file.
